my heart beats in breakdowns' Journal [entries|friends|calendar] my heart beats in breakdowns [ website | mmm ill mitch ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[06 Aug 2003|08:24pm] bye bye journal...im making a new one because this one bothers me. I'll comment on everyones journal with the new name 5Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

inside my teeth ill scream, i know that i miss you, i know that i miss you..... [04 Aug 2003|02:21pm] I just dont understand. I dont understand how I could think I have things figured out and then with one ridiculous phone call I'm suddenly confused about everything. Why did you even bother with that call, why, because after that call that was the last I heard from you, I just dont understand why you're doing this. And if you're not really sure about everything you said, its ok, I just wish you could talk to me and tell me what's going on, because right now I have no idea. I just cant deal with this being another repeat of everything that's already happend. Please just talk to me, I really need to know what you're thinking now. 2Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

"I'm not a Rocco, I just tap a lot" -KTB [03 Aug 2003|11:15pm] [ music | the cure ] American Wedding was surprisingly really funny. I can't remember what I did yesterday so it probably wasn't important. But I had Danielle's Sweet 16 which was fun. It was a costume party thing, so I went as a school girl, but yeah, I'm not sure how well that went lol. It was good, the candle ceremony was so sad. But overall it was good, I got to see everyone I have wanted to see since school ended plus a few people I could have done without. But, it's all good. Then Sara picked us up at around 12ish and we went to this kids house because he had people over, and it was pretty funny, especially Kevin's impression of the iguana. hahahahahahaha. Today me Sara, and Kaitlin were supposed to go see One True Thing because they were playing in freaking Amityville. But yeah, it's a long story so let's just say it didn't work out. So we picked up Liz, Ashley, and Maureen. And we drove around forever. But today was a lot of fun, I cant even remember everything that happend because its clearly impossible. But I love those girls, all of them. We saw some guy running so we followed him for about 20 minutes, and he knew we were following him, and then we cornered him and Liz and Kaitlin got out and took a picture with him. He liked it. 7/11 enough said. Eventually we went to the pet shop to play with the puppies. I thought I was going to start crying when we left. I wanted to save them all and take them all home. I swear I was like the godfather of those freaking puppies...Liz and Ashley know haha. The pug tried to rip my sweater, but its ok it was still adorable. Then me Sara and Kaitlin had to go to work. And I just got home but we all got to work together tonight so that was cool I guess, and Nicole, I met your friend Frank and he's REALLY nice, and he's funny too. But yeah, the end. Oh wait, Shaun my last entry didn't really have to do with you, maybe a slight bit, but it's no problem so dont feel bad at all, really. 2Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

Today has been a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day. [01 Aug 2003|04:03pm] [ music | The Rocking Horse Winner ] Today=bad...its just bad. its one of those days where you just need to clear your head but you cant because you're just too confused and too over loaded with ridiculous information. I havent had a day like this in a while. Tonight Sara is going to pick me up and me her and Jess are going to go to the rosevelt field mall. I hate the mall. But I like this one...interesting. So hopefully this will cheer me up. Then I think we're going to see American Wedding. Please call me tonight. It could change my outlook on this whole day. 4Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

I wont give up so easy this time...... [01 Aug 2003|08:49am] I'm not really sure what i did the past few days or day, i dont know i loose track of time in the summer. Pretty much just hanging out with Jess. Last night Jess, Sara, and me went to Kaitlins. And Victoria and Cristina were there too. After a while Frank,Rob,Kevin, and wearsgirlspants came too. Then we went to applebees The end. p.s. someone please come over and play?? Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

[31 Jul 2003|01:50pm] too happy to think 1Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

[30 Jul 2003|11:12pm] [ music | chicago show tunes ] marry me? 3Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

yeah about that..... [30 Jul 2003|11:04am] [ music | anatomy of a ghost ] Well well, the other night was the show and it was cool because Keep This alive won, werd up gangsta. I pretty much just stayed with Shaun the whole night because all the other bands were terrible. Mhm. Sara drove us and got lost again, yeah shes gonna have to work on that. On the way home Sara stopped in the middle of the street and we decided to do "The Who, from Whoville" moshing...it was amusing. Dentist yesterday and BAYUM still no cavities, what now. Yeah anyway, moving on, then last night Shannon picked up me sara jess and diana and we went to Ray's house...and I had to leave because the 4 deer on his wall kind of made me sick, yeah thats messed up. So me Sara and Jess went home pretty early...then I came home and we talked, and I hope you're okay now because last night you didnt seem too okay :( Hm, I always wind up talking to you about things I dont like talking about anymore, I dont get it, and I dont understand why that always happens, but I always feel better after talking about it so I guess its a good thing....I guess. Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

...oh how i love jessica bues [27 Jul 2003|11:45pm] [ mood | peaceful ] [ music | the cure-there is no if ] Tonight was interesting...went bowling with Chris,Kevin,Tim,John, and of course Jess. It was interesting lol, especially when Jess told the 14 working there that i was interested in him and then he wanted my screen name..thanks jess. Then we went to applebees...the end...but it was fun. I haven't even been bowling since that one night when we ALL went midnight bowling in farmingdale and it was like -20 degrees and i was wearing a skirt haha. That was on January 12th I believe...and I'm not that much of a freak, I only remember it because January 13th, someone said something to me that I'll never forget, therefore I remember the last time I went bowling? Ok, maybe that didn't make much sense...oh well. Talked to Holly for a little while today...I really miss her so much. I miss hanging out with her all the time, and the crazy unpredictable adventures we always had, holly kier...i love you lol. I like spending everyday with Jess haha, we spend way too much time together but it;'s ok because i love her and we always have fun :) And Shaun is being sweeter than usual, and it's so cute :) Everything seems pretty...normal lately? I don't know, I'm not too sure what normal is, but whatever it is, it works, and I like it <3 1Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

twitching arm, what? [27 Jul 2003|10:30am] [ music | mars volta ] Well I'm home from PA, had a lot of fun visiting and all with Jess. I miss Lindsay already, we had a lot of good talks, especially the last night on the trampoline :) Friday night Shaun came over for a little while, and then Sara called and told us to go to Matt Burke's party thing, so we went there until like 11ish and then we all went to Dave's little party thing. It was a good night :) Saturday, worked all day, then it was Lynsey's sweet 16. Sara drove and somehow we ended up in Merrick when the party was in Farmingdale, so yeah we were over an hour late lol. Then Kaitlin thought it would be funny to go into the other girls party...um, yeah, I'm not going to get into that-let's just say the girls friends cornered Kaitlin in the bathroom later on. Then at around 11:30 ish we went to Jenna's party, but we only stayed for a little while, Dave, and Dianna, and Kelly and those people were there so I didn't feel too out of place around Kaitlin's friends haha. But....yeah...I need clothes. 1Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

hes a bitch..... [23 Jul 2003|11:16pm] yeah so, im still in amish world. last night linds had a bunch of people over, and this one kid was taking pictures with his phone and not telling anyone, he was also a bitch, and he doesnt like me and jess....extremely anti social-apparently he didnt get the hint considering the fact that he came back again tonight. tonight was cool too. oh yeah and last night i jumped in the pool with a hoodie in jeans on, yeah awesome.anyway..... today we went to this awesome town called new hope, and me and jess went to a psychic. and surprisingly she was really right about a lot of things. she talked about 2 guys in particular quite a bit, i cant write everything down, and i dont think i want everyone to know what she said about them, but it was pretty right. but she did say i was too soft-hearted and that im very easy to take advantage of...thats no fun :( and she also said you had too much power over me and no one in my life will ever have that much power over me ever again. and that ill still hear from you soon, and that you're controlling and you dont care about anyone but yourself. then she said that you arent going to hurt me like you did, but you'll hurt me in a different way, i dont know what thats all about but she also said a lot of good things about you, im sure this is totally confusing to anyone reading it, so ill shut up. psychics are fun, oh yeah and she also asid i was psychic, which i think is highly untrue, because i know nothing, ok enough 5Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

AMISH!!!! [22 Jul 2003|02:35pm] monday- went to the mall with nicole and this really pretty girl in h&m told us we were really cute, she had amazing hair. then last night me jess and shaun went to chris' and hungout there for a while and walked...last night was...eh...not so great today- me and jess are in PA with lindsay just chillin, we're going to have so much fun. Tonight Lindsay's having a bunch of people over so that should be fun, and i think she is tomorrow night too, and i dont know we'll take it from there :) Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

i hated it when you did that, and now i hate it when you do it... [21 Jul 2003|07:41am] [ music | mars volta ] Friday-not so good, dont feel like expanding on it. All ill say is league of extraordinary gentlemen is the modern version on the lion king, and i fell asleep and missed the whole movie. some guy comes up to me and jess "yo you girls are cute, your like the double mint twins" oh yeah because me and jess look sooooooooooo much alike haha. yeah but i went with sara jess shannon and diana..interesting. saturday-john picked up me and jess like 2 hours late from work so by the time we got home and took showers and finally got to the show and all that jazz, everyone had played and yeah. but me jess shaun and chris and that whole crew stayed around. then out of nowhere that freaking teen life, or whatever it is, comes up to us handing us prayer books and "books of john" haha and then they made everyone start praying with them, i dont really want to say much more about the cult except to say...i felt violated.ha. then we went to some kids house and there were like a million and 5 people there and it was way too crowded so after like, 10/15 minutes we left. then me jess shaun, and shawn went to this kid toms party, because shaun was suppposed to be there lol. we saw everyone melanie, laura, FREDDIE, danielle, liz, and all those people. sunday-family gathering, movies...again with jess because for some reason we are in love with mandy moore. the movie was an extremely typical chick flick but me and jess love those movies, so we really liked it haha. today- no clue, everyone is either at work, or i dont hangout with them anymore (not by choice)...i dont know we'll see. oh yeah,you always used to do that. you would always say youre going to call and you never would. and i would get so upset and im not sure why, its just a stupid phone call. but for some reason it really bothers me. i mean, if you arent going to call just say so, its really not a problem but dont say you will when you know you arent. sorry thats just something you did that i hated, and you did that yesterday. its ok though i need to stop complaining about everything... 2Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

[18 Jul 2003|08:39am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | afi ] I didnt exactly wind up going out the other night, but Jess did come over for a while. Yesterday I was supposed to work again but I woke up at 10:10 and I'm supposed to leave at 10, so yeah, that didn't work out too well. So Dawn came over and John took us to the mall for a while. I actually bought something which is really strange considering I haven't gotten new clothes in like, forever. Then last night Jess,Sara,Kaitlin,Dana, and I went to this costume party and it was quite interesting going as the spice girls hm....Liz, looked amazing haha. Then out of nowhere Shaun came for a little while, that was fun. Overall-okay night. Now I'm off to work again, amazing. 1Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

why cant i feel anything from anyone other than you..... [16 Jul 2003|09:22pm] Went to the beach a million and 5 days ago, got sunburn like it was my job, "we were rejected from gilgo and the cops had to escort us out" as jess would say. went to cedar with sara and jess and john frank and rob came too. then everyone went in the water and since me and frank hate the beach we just sat there and talked about some things, but not really..... Hm, I dont remember what happend the next few days, um, worked i guess Monday night, we were supposed to have a 5 pack night, so kaitlin calls us at 10 to inform us of her and shannons car accident at the top of the street, we rush to montauk highway to see 4 rescue trucks and all that jazz, and kaitlin and shannon with neck braces on. then as they're being put on their stretchers kaitlin starts laughing. so me sara and jess went to the ER with them, and brought them stuffed animals and a my size barbie, not exactly how we planned on spending the night, shannons car got a little messed up, but her and kaitlin are alright. Last night, went to jess' and shaun,chris,shawn, and kevin came too. yeah. Today- work, sitting, being stupid, and probably hanging out with jess and kaitlin, but i dont know if i really feel like going out tonight, we'll see... ** the only thing i regret is that i never let you hold me back** Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.... [13 Jul 2003|11:57am] At sara and jess' now, slept here last night, and guess where we're going now.........THE BEACH!!! haha, yes thats right I am going to the beach hahahahaha!!! Yeah so this should be interesting, I'm sure I'll be the most clothed person there too. Last night we just chilled, Shaun called-talked to that boy for a while, watched this movie, and thats it. I dont feel like updating anymore for now. Payce* 1Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

its not cool.... [11 Jul 2003|04:37pm] [ music | coldplay-the scientist ] I dont know whats been going on lately, i cant remember. Last night was Vicky's sweet 16, good times with the latin crew. DANA WAS THERE!!! omg, i havent seen her in like a year i missed her so much! we're gonna chill a lot this summer. she got even prettier, no joke shes like the most gorgeous girl ive ever seen. then me sara jess kaitlin and dana chilled for a little while, i dont feel like explaining more. I just wanted to say that, i tried being mature, but that doesnt mean things are cool between us. and of all people you should know it wasnt that easy. just because a little time passes it doesnt mean everything is ok, because its not, and im not sure if it ever will, i just wanted to clear that up, but whatever, its not like we talk anymore anyway. Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

hmm..... [08 Jul 2003|09:32am] [ music | modest mouse ] Well, yesterday me, Nicole, and Ashley went into Babylon like we always do. went thrifting for a little while, then went to the cafe because we live there, then to Sherry's to get vegan stuff. Then Shaun, Liz, Ashley, and Nicole came over. And i felt really bad for making Shaun hangout with me, AND my friends again, sorry. But yeah we watched Life as a House and i couldn't really pay attention and I'm an idiot and everyone made fun of me when I didn't get it, whatever, it's cool. But yeah, Shaun hates me. Or, I don't know it just seems like whenever there's something wrong with me he winds up thinking he sucks, I don't know, but it's nothing like that. It's just really hard to explain. Maybe I'll try calling him later and see how that goes. Well, today I have work until 5:30 but after that I dont know whats going on, hm, if someone could call me and let me know that would be wonderful. Alright kids, bye* 1Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

amazing amazing amazing [06 Jul 2003|12:37pm] [ mood | amazing ] [ music | something corporate...why? ] amazing...is all i have to say... everything is pretty amazing haha its almost scary (told you i could be worried about everything lol) Hm, so whats been going on... I've been pretty busy since my last entry when i was all "save the world". but thats ok, i like being busy. Things just seem..hm,dont know, normal right now? I dont even know what normal is. Maybe normal isnt the right way to describe it...no it isnt...everything just feels, right...like this is whats supposed to be happening right now, and this is all that should be happening theres nothing else i need right now and thats one of the best feelings. And right now i feel like i can get over anything, because ive gotten past the hardest thing ive had to face so far in my life, so..yeah thats pretty crazy. Well, sorry im just all over the place in this entry,..but...hm, oh yeah! 4th of july! well, it was amazing as planned. We didnt have plans until 20 minutes before we left, but it was a lot of fun, 6 pack forever i dont care what anyone says those girls are the greatest girls in the entire world, and if you dont know them you cant die until you meet them. Lindsay is gone :( it was so great having her here this week, i missed her so much. Saw shaun a little too on the 4th. very cool. Last night 1 word-amazing Liz-Jess-Sara...all i have to say about last night..HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WE WIN!!! Got home a little after 1 last night and then I called shaun and we were definatly on the phone for 2 hours, 8 minutes and 25 seconds hehe! I think we talked a little about everything <3 Work again tonight with sara, but its all good in the hood...things are going good, and if i keep doing what i should be doing, then it should stay like this 2Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

...i know im not enough for you... [03 Jul 2003|10:43pm] Here's what went on today -doctor +mall with ashley and maureen, laughed quite a bit -hit myself in the face while trying to tell a story, and maureen laughed at me, then ashley joined in +tonight, went to the cafe with nicole and ashley, very inspiring, it was open mic night, and there was a lot of poetry readings, and this chick with her guitar, and it was around then when i started thinking too much........ And it wasnt even thinking about certain people, and situations with these certain people, it wasnt even about that It was more of where my life is going, and where im going, and what im doing, and if im ok with that, and if im doing all i know i can do, and trying as hard as i know i can try...or maybe more then i know...and then i started thinking that there are so many different places and so many different things that i dont even know about yet, and those places and those things could change everything Because i think i know pretty well that the smallest thing can completely change your life And instead of sitting here waiting for a day to be over, now i feel like i dont have enough time, theres so much to do i cant waste anymore time just thinking, i have to actually do it, and even though im not sure exactly what it is i have to do right now, that isnt the point. And im just really thankful for the people in my life right now, and i want to be a better friend, and a better, i dont know, whatever, just better, because people change and things change all the time but that doesnt mean they cant change for the better. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.... 1Will Never Forget How The Music Stopped

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]